Why does it sometimes feel as if we live in a world where self-confidence and self-love is the exception?
As girls, we are taught to love ourselves endlessly and to appreciate who we are as individuals. When reminiscing on the golden days of my childhood, it is almost as if I am viewing it splayed across a worn out wall through the lens of an old school projector. The tinted and blotchy film splashing faded images of myself genuinely happy with not a care in the world. As children, we are selfish; Never relying on others to create our sense-of-self, our happiness. Whatever we chose to wear, had it been mismatched or not, made us feel enchanted. Others perception of ourselves was not even a thought in our little minds. We acted freely and from within. Above all, we loved ourselves.
It honestly amazes me to look back throughout the years and see just how much that changed as the time passed. Year after year, it felt as if my confidence became further controlled by those around me. Truly, I never felt confident with who I was as an individual. Whether it had been my appearance, or how I talked, or how I behaved, I always felt as if I was being judged or made-fun-of. Looking back, I can say that trying to find the path to who I was and basing my judgment off of the judgment of others was quite literally C R A Z Y. I forced myself into a purposeless mold and played the role of someone I wasn’t. Upon reflection, I more likely than not, did this as a means of “fitting-in” because I actually thought that others opinions of myself were more important than my own.
It’s funny, because what actually had prompted me into writing this posting was the “Facebook 10-Year Glow-Up Challenge.” I am not going to lie, digging up a photo from ten years ago was rather comical in a “Really Alyssa? That is what you thought people found cool?” type way. And, just maybe they did. Who the hell knows or really even cares. Staring at my Freshman year “selfie” I laughed. Not because I was making a silly face or because I found myself to be charming, but rather because I found it amusing and slightly pathetic. I looked so empty, so lost. I couldn’t help but wonder what I was thinking at that exact moment that I pressed the “capture” button. I instead wish that I could have captured my thoughts at that very moment in time.
Overall, it is amazing to see just how my journey started off and where I am now. That probably sounds super cheesy. But I think, and more importantly, I hope that y’all have reached this same (groundbreaking) point in your life. Because honestly it feels freaking amazing. I continue each and every day to fall a little more into me. I learn to love myself more and more each day, for every beautiful imperfection. For who I am as an individual and what I have to offer to the Universe.
My confidence and self-love didn’t just show up at my doorstep, even if I wanted it to, it would be virtually impossible considering the Post Office’s inability to correct my damn forwarding address. Ha. No, it came from an entire lifetime and then some of my mother telling me just how beautiful I am inside and out, it came from my physical and spiritual journey, from “wife-hood,” motherhood, friendship, and most importantly, it came from within.
As women, we shouldn’t feel ashamed to share with the world our confidence. It is beautiful. Know your worth, your beauty, your everlasting impact that you leave whimsically like fairy dust everywhere you go.
Be unique. Be different. Be you.
Alyssa’s Prescription for Self-Love:
» Find your perfect imbalance (I’ll spare y’all and go more into depth on this itty bitty number that my hubby coined in a future posting);
» Become mindful;
» Make time for yourself;
» Journal often;
» Build a precious and sacred community (if any of y’all are struggling in this area, please feel free to reach out to me, as I have joined the most empowering and inspiring sisterhood that is always welcoming to newcomers);
» Fill your life with individuals who carry positive vibrations, who do not take pleasure in your failure and pain rather than in your happiness and successes;
» Live with purpose;
» Practice minimalism in both your physical and spiritual life;
» Do not compare;
» Learn to let go of what no longer serves you;
» Practice yoga/meditation;
» Find yourself at one with nature;
» Find a reason to smile each and everyday, even when it seems impossible;
» Forgive yourself;
» Learn from your mistakes, grow; and most importantly,
» Create a self-love ritual, something for you (i.e., whether it be a nighttime skincare routine, or getting dolled-up each morning, even with nowhere to go).