mama talk #2: newfound religion + newfound me time

I have learned, and have grown a lot this weekend.

Like most, I used to be terrified of change. During my immature, pre-mama years, change to me, in my head manifested into the following thoughts: If I am constantly changing, and growing, that just means that I wasn’t the best version of myself yesterday… And the day before that… And the day before that. Right?

Wrong.

Growth is the evolution of our ever present beauty. We are butterflies. The butterfly, like us, even in its caterpillar state, is still a butterfly. Through God’s grace, I was born beautifully through His vision. From conception to present, I have never stopped “being” Alyssa. I have just continued to evolve into the perfectly imperfect woman that He had created me to be. And so do you. Growth although uncomfortable and challenging at times, is truly beautiful. Never think otherwise.

Now with regard to this weekend mamas, I surprised myself. I not only pushed through my comfort zone and attended a new church, but I also attended said churches small and intimate home group bible study. And that wasn’t even the really surprising stuff I had previously mentioned. Nope. What is even more surprising (to me anyways), is that I left Brooklyn Meadow with my in-laws (who were in town for the weekend visiting) not only for Sunday morning service, but also for HGBS. Not surprising in the “I don’t like leaving her with my in-laws” type of way. No, no, no. Surprising in the “I convinced myself to take a much-needed solo mama trip” type of way.

Wanna know who inspired me?

Rachel freakin’ Hollis. Bless her heart.

She has totally re-invented and freshened my perspective on mamahood, in the best way possible.

Want to know why exactly? Because, before Sunday, I felt that I had to be a super mama. I felt that taking time for myself made me a bad mom. Although I valued the idea of self-care, I didn’t practice it with intention. And, running with that theme, I feel that many of us mamas fall into this trap. We like the idea of self-care, self-love, self-whateva-you-wanna-call it. But, we don’t actually put it into action and practice it.

We instead, make excuses.

We like the idea of having a treadmill in the middle of our living room. But never “find” the time to use it. “No, honey, it needs to stay up here, it’s my treadmill.” *Cue habitual utter subconscious eye roll*

We like the idea of starting our diet with each new approaching week, but find it difficult to follow through.

We like the idea of soaking in our tub, relaxing, reading, sipping a glass of wine.

And that is just it, we idealize and fantasize the complete shit out of our lives. And as a result, we float in fantasy land, likely on edge and miserable, fantasizing about the what-ifs, whens, and hard to find time.

“Find”: That is where the issue lies mama. The problem so-to-speak, lies in that horrid word. We need to shift our mindset, and instead of looking for that non-existent time, we need to dang make it.

So I dare ya mama. Start by taking just one idealization from that pretty brain of yours, and set it into action. Simple or grandiose. Big or small. Whether it be leaving the kiddos behind to take that yoga class that you have been wanting to take, but consistently talking yourself our of, or starting your first journal entry that you have been too tired to dive into after a long and tiring day.

I can promise you that enacting just that one thing will propel you and snowball you into the happy, content mama that God had intended for you to be.

Much love mamas ✌