mama talk #4: accountability + LA state of mind

I have always been a dreamer. I have been dreaming for as long as I could remember.

There were moments that I dreamed and aspired to be an architect, an interior designer, a high school English teacher in a New York City inner city school system.

There were times that I envisioned myself being a traveling gypsy, a hippie, a high school guidance counselor in a small southern town.

I attribute my youth and lack of life experience to the inconsistency of β€œthemes” per se, and consequent lack of chasing such dreams.

Now, at 24-years-old, my dreams have taken on a much different form.Β  I no longer dream of upholding any particular career title.Β  No.Β  I now make my β€œthen” career dreams my present state of reality and instead, dream up exotic cocktails of the exact and very things that I want as a result of the dream job that I am presently working.Β  (Cus’ let me tell you mama, life is too short to be in a career or working a job that doesn’t fuel that beautiful fire in your soul.)Β  The places that I want to live, places that I want to travel to, places where I want to spend my Sundays, *uh-hm* casually brunching at The Ivey in LA.Β  I dream about the top notch Montessori school that I want to place my children in, the beautiful life that I will be able to provide and enjoy with them.Β  I dream about all of things my new venture that completely keeps me up at night, will yield.

And y’all, I think those thoughts every damn day.  I let them ever consume me, I drink those very same thoughts in my very large coffee mug each day and let them put me to sleep each night.

Boss mama tip: Set your phone screen saver to your new brand’s logo, a photo collage of all your tangible and physical β€œwants” and goals, a photo of you in a state of happy bliss at home with your kiddos.Β  Remind yourself constantly.Β  Hell, I went as far as buying myself a white sapphire (faux diamond) ring (that though looks just like the real thing) that fuels my desire to one day be able to buy myself the real deal.Β  I am not kidding y’all, I refuse to take this dang ring off until I can replace it with the real deal.

Uphold the promises that you make to yourself.

I find it ludicrous, because as humans, we find it truly painstaking to break promises that we make with one another.  β€œI won’t tell a soul, I promise.”  β€œI’ll be there in 15-minutes, I promise.”  Maybe even without realizing it, we as humans subconsciously place high value on the promises that we make with others.

BUT

We never uphold the promises that we make to ourselves.  We start and re-start diets like they are going out of style, we stop striving for our dreams when the going gets tough, we break, adjusting to a more complacent state.  We make countless excuses for ourselves and (excuse my language) justify the shit out of our actions or lack thereof, and their subsequent outcomes, or again, lack thereof. 

It is imperative that we break the cycle mamas, and start holding ourselves accountable.  

Recently, I was turned onto the nature of accountability by a new friend.  She had mentioned it a near dozen times throughout the duration of our brief, though rather weighty conversation.  In that moment, after hearing it a dozen times, I honestly never wanted to hear the damn word again.

It was not until last night actually, that that same word crept on me, and its meaning took on life.

It is not my situation that denies me from writing more consistently, from reading, from listening to personal development podcasts, from more consistently keeping in contact with close relatives and friends.  It’s me.

It isn’t others that annoy me, it is again, me.

It is never a bad day, no, it is just me.

It is my perspective, my actions, me.

Gosh darn accountability, it is that same truth that you so badly want your bestie to tell you when you try on that God awful going-out outfit.  I am telling’ y’all, the pill of accountability is larger than a gosh darn fish oil pill to swallow.

But it is oh so real, and oh so beneficial to your overall being and health.

So what have we learned mamas?

Enter your LA state of mind; Start dreaming; Stop waiting, start your dream job Nβ€’Oβ€’W; Shift to an accountability mindset; Be selfish at times mama, you matter too; and as always, love your damn self | you are oh so worth it.

With love from OK,