mama talk #12: Friday’s + [what is] forgiveness?

Y’all, happy freakin’ Friday.

This bi-otch is back. And boy, did it take a lot to get back to the literal, yet figurative here.

Specifically, two days, two flights, an impromptu (without luggage) night spent in Atlanta, a therapy sesh, and one too many tears.

When the time is right, I will definitely shed light on the tumultuous waters that this season of life, and [many] of the past seasons of my life have encountered + contained, but for now mamas, let’s take a moment to chat on the topic of: forgiveness.

When faced with exploring how I would explain to my (young) daughter what “forgiveness” is, what it truly means, I found myself at a loss of not only words, but thoughts.

What is forgiveness to me?

What is forgiveness to you mama?

So, this has actually been a journaling topic of mine for a number of days now, and rather than being able to formulate a definitive definition of “forgiveness,” I have began to approach [the topic of] forgiveness for what I believe it not to be.

Side note: Pre-mama me had very much fluid views on pretty much everything. Though, now-mama me has catapulted into a season of life, where I feel like in order for me to raise my daughter (and our future babies) on a solid foundation, I need to build a more structured (and less “fluid”) definition of critical and essential issues.

Ok, end tangent thought; Back to topic.

What forgiveness [to me] is not:

Forgiveness is not, “forgiving + forgetting” or “forgiving to forget”;

Forgiveness is not, a feeling;

Forgiveness is not, condoning the behavior(s) done unto you;

Forgiveness is not, creating a tough exterior and entering into a “make believe” state where you essentially pretend that you were not hurt;

Forgiveness is not, relieving the offender of his|her|their responsibility; and ultimately,

Forgiveness is not, an open invitation to enter into the cyclical cycle [and nature] of toxicity that you were once, always, or currently exposed to.

Simply, so far to me, the act of “forgiveness,” is relieving yourself from the pain, from the emotional turmoil, the ever present storm brewing from within, the absolute negativity.

Let us meditate on this mamas. I encourage y’all to give this topic some thought, talk about it with your spouse, significant other, bestie, etc. Journal on it. Pray on it.

Let us navigate to our [own] definition of forgiveness | Let us give it meaning | Let us give it life

Much love from Oklahoma,